More Lies Women Believe About Themselves

What matters the most?

As we wrap up our study of Chapter 3, we come to two more untruths that we women are prone to believe about ourselves.

We must remember that one of the areas that is particularly impacted by our view of God is our view of ourselves. If we do not see Him as He really is - if we believe things about Him that are not true - invariably, we will have a distorted view of ourselves.

11. The lie: Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.

Many women look at magazine covers and long for such clear skin, such smooth thighs, such a flat stomach, such a perfect nose. The billions of dollars women spend every year trying to look young or become beautiful attest to the power of this lie.

The Truth: At best, physical beauty is temporal and fleeting.

Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised."

While there's nothing wrong with being physically attractive, Christian women should be more concerned about cultivating true, inner beauty of the spirit - the kind of beauty that increases rather than diminishes with age.

The Truth: The beauty that matters most to God is that of my inner spirit and character.

1 Timothy 3:3-4, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gently and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

But What About My Needs?

The following lie focuses on our deep, personal longings. Like the lie about "rights," many women feel that God owes them the fulfillment of their deepest longings. While the longings themselves may not be sinful, the danger is that we will begin to demand that God meet our expectations.

12. The lie: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

By focusing on our unfulfilled longings, we can miss the fact that God by His very presence fulfills our deepest needs. He promises that one day we will lack nothing.

The Truth: I will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.

The Truth: The deepest longings of my heart cannot be filled by any created person or thing.

Psalm 73:25, " Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You."

Psalm 34:8-10, "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is not want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing."

Pray This Prayer

Lord Jesus, I want to seek to reflect the beauty, order, excellence, and grace of God through both my outward and inner person. I ask You the grace to walk in this way. Amen.

Demanding Our "Rights" Leads to Bondage

"I Have My Rights!"

Chapter 3 -- 73-76

This lie comes from our culture. We live in a nation of people clamoring for their "rights." When we focus on our perceived "rights," we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and hurt. For many of us a violated "right" causes anger and frustration.

However, true freedom comes when we yield our "rights" and expectations to God.

Jesus is our true example of One Who yielded His rights to God. Jesus gave a description of Himself in the Bible and this is what He said:

Matthew 11:29, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle [or meek] and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

We know that Jesus was perfect and the character he embodied was perfect, too, and you and I cannot hope to attain such perfection this side of Heaven! We also realize that left to ourselves, there is not one good thing in us.

On the other hand, according to Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Because of what Jesus did on the cross, we have access to God's grace that enables us to do all things! He empowers me to respond without anger when I feel my rights have been violated.

Meekness is yielding all my personal rights to God, so He is free to accomplish His will in and through me.

Reflecting Upon the Lord

Jesus Christ is the source of all things. He is the power that sustains and rules the world that we live in. He works out all things to bring glory to himself. Our Lord is all-powerful and every knee shall someday bow and declare Him the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He deserves our praise.

Romans 11:36, "For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen."

And yet, He gave up all of His rights. These were not perceived rights, but they were the rights legitimately due Him.

Philippians 2:8, "And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

The Lord asks us to learn to do the things He does. The same "rights" we hold onto and refuse to yield to God will turn into bondage for us. However, if we yield our "rights" to the Lord, He will lead us into freedom.

The Real Remedy to Low Self-Esteem

Accepting God's Design
Chapter 3 -- Pages 68-73

Many people try to tell us that we need to "love ourselves," and that will solve all our problems. The problem is that we already do love ourselves. That comes naturally. What often appears as a lack of self-love is actually a faulty view of God and our value to Him. We need to learn to receive God's love so His love can fill us and then overflow to others.

8. The lie: I need to learn to love myself.

The Truth: By faith, I need to receive God's love for me.

Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

The Truth: I already love myself. I need to deny myself and let God love others through me.

Matthew 16:24-26, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?'"

Another lie is found in this phrase that sometimes spills out of our mouths without even a thought, "I can't help the way I am." We have built a nation full of victims -- whenever someone does something wrong, it's usually someone else's fault.

While it's true that our circumstances do shape us, we are responsible for the choices we make. As Christians, the Holy Spirit lives in us and gives us the power to obey God.

9. The lie: I can't help the way I am.

The Truth: If I am a child of God, I can choose to obey God.

The Truth: I am responsible for my own choices.

Joshua 24:15,"And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

The Truth: I can be changed through the power of God's Spirit.

Philippians 2:13, "...for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

A Final Thought

God pursued a relationship with you and me when we were estranged from Him. Apart from the Lord, there is no good thing in us; yet, He did not give up on us. He loves with an unconditional love and proved it by sending His Son to die for our sins. Jesus paid the penalty and died in our place -- and He did nothing wrong!

How can we respond to such a love as this? By offering ourselves to Him.

Lord, have Your way with me. Mold me and make me into what pleases you. I offer myself to you. Change me into the image of Christ. Amen.