The Supremacy of Love

Chapter One

1 Corinthians 13:13, "Three things will last forever -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love."

Of all the commands in the Bible and among all the great virtues, love reigns supreme. Why, you ask? Well, it may be that faith and hope are both expressed through love.

It may be because God is Love!

At any rate, it's clear from the above Bible verse that love will last and it is the greatest virtue.

More to Consider About Love

The best way to minister to the Body of Christ is by exercising love. (1 Corinthians 13)

God desires love most for His children. (1 Corinthians 12:31)

The most important command is to love God and your neighbors. (Mark 12:28-31)

We are to do everything in love. (1 Corinthians 16:14)

Love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:10)

The Highest Love

The greatest love is from a rarely used word in the Greek language, agape. It describes a love that gives to the basic needs of others without any expectation of personal gain. It is a love that is genuine from the one who loves with no thought of the worthiness of the one who is loved.

It is the Love mentioned in John 3:16.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Becoming A Woman Who Loves

Hello, Ladies!

You'll find this Bible Study, which is from the book with the above title, to be unique in that it is only a study of the Bible. The author leads us into the Scriptures and methodically teaches us of the attributes of Love. The purpose is to help us search out the Bible for ourselves and draw us closer to God as we seek to grow in Christlike love.

This blog is designed to assist you in the study of "Becoming a Woman Who Loves." You may purchase the book by clicking your mouse on the book graphic. It will take you to the Barnes and Noble page where you can order it and have it shipped to your door.

If you live in the area, you are welcome to join us every Wednesday morning in Scappoose. You'll find like-minded women who study the Word of God together. It's a wonderful time as we learn how to apply the truth to our lives, nurture friendships with other women, and grow in our relationship with Jesus.

If your desire is to only join us online, then welcome to you! In addition to the book, all you need is a Bible, a pen, and an expectant heart.

Either way, these articles are written to be of help to you as you read and study through this book. May the Lord bless you in your quest to learn of His genuine love.

Please continue to check back for updates!

Love, Karen

Above All, Love

1 Corinthians 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Introducing Our New Book!

Becoming a Woman Who Loves by Cynthia Heald will be our new study for this year of Aspire. I Corinthians 13 is the book's basis...and we'll go from there!

I encourage you to purchase this book on your own before we start on October 13th. If you just click the book's image in the margin of this page, you'll be redirected to Barnes & Noble to make your purchase for the low price (as of today) of $8.99.

You may also choose to download it as an eBook for your iPad, iPhone, Kindle, or any other reader, if you prefer. (Pricing varies.)

I'm excited to see all of you in just a couple of weeks and can't wait to fellowship with you as we seek to be women who love like Christ.

Announcing a New Year of Bible Study!

We at Aspire are happy to announce the start our weekly Bible Study on Wednesday, October 13, 2010. We'll gather in Scappoose at the Branches Building at 10:00-11:15am every week. Child care is provided.

Keep checking back for more information -- which will be posted as soon as we know it!

I've missed you! And I'm looking forward to seeing you at Aspire this fall.

Love, Karen

Walking in the Truth by Relinquishing Control

Sweet Surrender
Pages 259-262

The following Truths are crucial for women in our day to believe and embrace. They form a solid foundation and a protective fortress for our mind, will, and emotions. We must be willing to surrender ourselves to the One Who is able to mold our character into one that will be well-pleasing to Him.

12. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God will enable me to do anything He commands me to do.

Philippians 2:13, "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

The issue is not that we can't obey God -- that we can't forgive that parent who hurt us so deeply, that we can't love that colleague at work, that we can't give thanks in the midst of the storm, or that we can't be content with our one-bedroom apartment.

The real issue is that we won't forgive, we are unwilling to love, and we refuse to give thanks and to be content with what God has provided.

13. I am responsible before God for my behavior, responses, and choices.

Way back in the Garden, after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God came to hold them accountable for what they had done. God was not asking them what someone else had done to make them sin; He was asking them to take responsibility for their own behavior.

How liberating it is when you realize that the Lord does not hold you accountable for the actions of others! You are, however, responsible for how you respond to them, regardless of how they treat you.

We may not be able to control the circumstances that come into our lives -- we had no choice about the home we were born into, our overall physical appearance, our upbringing, and many others factors that have influenced and shaped our lives. But, by God's grace, we do not have to be victims; we can control how we respond.

14. I will reap whatever I sow.

Galatians 6:7-8, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

The choices we make today will have consequences down the road, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of others for generations to come. Every selfish, sinful, or indulgent choice I make today is sowing a seed that will reap a multiplied harvest.

And every act of obedience is a seed that will produce a multiplied harvest of blessing in my life and in the lives of those I love. The harvest is rarely immediate. But it will come.

15. The pathway to true joy is to relinquish control.

Matthew 16:26, "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

The only way to experience true freedom and peace is to let go of the reins -- to relinquish all control to God, believing that He can be trusted to manage all that concerns us.

16. The greatest freedom I can experience is found through submission to God-ordained authority.

Ephesians 5:21, "submitting to one another in the fear of God."

When we resist authority, we become more vulnerable to Satan's attacks and to sin, even as Eve sinned when she acted apart from the authority of her husband. On the other hand, when we willingly take our place under God-ordained authority, we are granted God's protective covering.

17. In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.

For a wife and mother, no career, no hobby, no relationship, no priority is more important under God.

Titus 2:4-5, "These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God." [New Living Translation.]

Walking in the Truth of Christ's Sufficiency

A Life of Freedom
Pages 256-259

As we continue our quest of highlighting particular Truths that are of crucial importance to you and me as women, we face the Truth of God's sufficiency.

In a very real sense, whatever lies we believe about God will affect how we approach everything else in life. For example, if we think that God is inadequate to meet all of our needs, then we'll tend to search for other means to fill our happiness void.

Society tells us of all the things we must have in order to be complete. In reality, though, when we have God, we have all we really need.

7. God's grace is sufficient for me.

2 Corinthians 12:9, "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

As a child of God, I will never face a circumstance that exceeds His grace. Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound. When I am weak, He is strong. When I am empty, He is full. When I have no resources of my own left, His resources have not begun to be depleted.

8. The blood of Christ is sufficient to cover all my sin.

1 John 1:7, "But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin."

There is not a sin I have ever committed or a sin I could ever commit that cannot be forgiven and covered by the all-sufficient sacrifice of Jesus' blood.

This should not cause us to take sin more lightly; to the contrary, the realization that our sin required the lifeblood of the Lord Jesus should leave us broken and humble in spirit -- and determined to choose the pathway of obedience, by the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit.

9. The Cross of Christ is sufficient to conquer my sinful flesh.

Romans 6:6-7, "knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin."

Through the death of Christ and my union with Him, I have been set free from the dominion and power of sin. I am no longer a slave to sin. When I do sin, it is not because I couldn't help myself; it is because I chose to yield to my old master.

The Truth is, I don't have to sin!

Romans 6:14, "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."

10. My past does not have to plague me.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (The Message), "Don't you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I'm talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit."

As believers, we are reminded that sin does separate from God; but then we are assured that through Christ, the worst of sinners can be made clean and new.

11. God's Word is sufficient to lead me, teach me, and heal me.

Psalm 19:7, "The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple."

Psalm 107:20, "He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions."

Maybe we have lost confidence in the power of the Word of God. Maybe we've forgotten that the Word is able to radically change a life. Maybe we've stopped believing that The Word is able to deliver people from bondage. Maybe we've been deceived.

The Truth is, the Holy Word of God is alive and powerful! It is medicine for the trouble hearts and peace for plagued minds!

It is a lamp for our feet and light for our path. Whatever our need, whatever our circumstances, the Word of God is sufficient to meet that need.

And it is sufficient to meet the needs of those we love.

Amen.

Walking in the Truth About God

Witness the Chains as They Fall Away
Pages 253-256

We have already looked at many of Satan's lies and the corresponding Truth that counters each lie. In this final chapter, we're going to highlight several of those Truths that are particularly crucial for women in our day to believe and embrace.

These are key Truths that we must go back to over and over again. They form a solid foundation and a protective fortress for the mind, will, and emotions. This is the Truth that sets you and me free.

1. God is good.

Psalm 119:68, "You are good, and do good; teach me Your statutes."

The Truth is, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of what we feel, regardless of what we think, God is good, and everything He does is good.

2. God loves me and wants me to have His best.

Romans 8:32, "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"

God doesn't love us because we're lovable or worthy, but because He is love. There is absolutely nothing we can do to earn or deserve His love. We cannot comprehend such unconditional love; but if we believe it and receive it, His love will transform our lives.

3. I am complete and accepted in Christ.

There is not one thing we can do to make ourselves acceptable to a holy God. Yet we can stand before Him clean and unashamed, acceptable in His sight because of Jesus Christ. Jesus is acceptable to Him, and we stand in Him.

4. God is enough.

Psalm 23:1, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."

The Truth is, if we have Him we have everything we need for our present peace and happiness.

5. God can be trusted.

Isaiah 28:16 (The Amplified), "Therefore thus says the Lord God, Behold, I am laying in Zion for a foundation a Stone, a tested Stone, a precious Cornerstone of sure foundation; he who believes (trusts in, relies on, and adheres to that Stone) will not be ashamed or give way or hasten away [in sudden panic]."

Hebrews 13:5, "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"

6. God doesn't make any mistakes.

Isaiah 46:10, "Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure.'"

Other people may make serious mistakes that affect our lives. But God is always fulfilling His eternal purposes, and they cannot be thwarted by any human failure.

If we are in Christ, our lives are in His hand, and nothing can touch our lives that has not first been "filtered through His fingers of love."

Take A Minute to Pray

Lord, thank You for Your Word that tells me the truth about who You are, what You have done for me, and how much You love me. Right now, I claim that truth, and I surrender to it. Amen.

Surrendering to the Truth

Pages 243-252

We have examined many different lies that are widely believed by Christian women today. However, we have by no means exhausted the lies in the Enemy's arsenal.

Deception has endless variations, which Satan tailors to our natural bents. Like a seasoned fisherman, he selects the lure that he knows is most likely to attract his intended prey -- the one we are least likely to consider harmful.

Our entire study has been structured around two related concepts:

1. Believing lies places us in bondage.

All of us need to be alert and on guard for Satan's lies.

1 Peter 5:8, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

His methods are cunning and deceptive. Knowing that most of us will not fall for outright lies, he feeds us subtle propaganda. Judging from the bondage that many women live in, he is doing a pretty good job of it. We see unhappiness, lies, and self-destruction all around us.

2. The Truth has the power to set us free.

The good news is that the Truth is always stronger than any lie, just as our Savior Jesus Christ is always stronger than our Enemy. Believers are not immune to Satan's attacks, but we do have a weapon to protect us from them. We have the understanding of God's Word as absolute Truth.

John 8:32, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Psalm 91:4, "He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler."

Do You Want to Receive the Power that Will Set You Free?

Then, surrender to the Truth of God's Word!

The Truth has the power to overcome every lie. That is what the Enemy doesn't want you to realize. As long as you believe his lies, he can keep you in bondage.

The Truth has the power to set us free and to protect our minds and hearts from deceptive thoughts and feelings. The Truth has the power to sanctify us -- and to purify our minds, our hearts and our spirits.

When we learn the Truth, believe it, surrender to it, and live it, we will find ourselves set free. Then we can live the life Christ meant us to live -- life abundant!

Living a God-Centered Life

It's All About Him
Pages 228-235

The final lie of this chapter seems to have found its way into the fabric of our selfish society -- "It's all about me." Everything revolves around me; nothing is more important than my wants, my needs, my desires!

This attitude has broken marriages, families, and hearts everywhere. The truth for believers is that this life is not all about them; it is all about God. He is the reason we exist, and we should live to honor and glorify Him.

40. The lie: It's all about me.

It's not enough for us to be the center of our own universe. We want to be the center of everyone else's universe as well -- including God's.

When others don't bow down before us and devote themselves to promoting our happiness and meeting our needs, we get hurt and start looking for alternate ways to fulfill our egocentric agenda.

The Truth: God is the beginning and ending and center of all things. All things were created by Him and for Him. It's all about Him!

Colossians 1:16-18 (Amplified Bible)

"For it was in Him that all things were created, in heaven and on earth, things seen and things unseen, whether thrones, dominions, rulers, or authorities; all things were created and exist through Him [by His service, intervention] and in and for Him. And He Himself existed before all things, and in Him all things consist (cohere, are held together).

He also is the Head of [His] body, the church; seeing He is the Beginning, the Firstborn from among the dead, so that He alone in everything and in every respect might occupy the chief place [stand first and be preeminent]."

The Truth: My life is dispensable. I was created for His pleasure and glory.

Philippians 1:20-21, "...according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

A Penetrating Question

How would your life look if you lived wholly for the glory and pleasure of God and the advancement of His Kingdom?

Once we agree with God that we exist for His pleasure and His glory, we can accept whatever comes into our lives as part of His sovereign will and purpose. We will not resent, resist, or reject the "hard things," but embrace them as friends -- sovereignly designed by God to make us like Jesus and to bring glory to Himself.

We will be able to look into His face and say, "It's not about me. It's about You, Lord. If it pleases You, it pleases me. All that matters is that You are glorified."

God's Grace is Sufficient

His Strength is Made Perfect in Our Weakness
Pages 226-228

The next lie deceives many women into giving up completely. They truly believe that God has placed too much in their lives.

God promises, however, that His grace is sufficient to help us in our weakness.

39. The lie: I just can't take any more.

As with every other area of deception, the key to defeating this lie is to counter it with the Truth. Regardless of what our emotions or our circumstances may tell us, God's Word says, "My grace is sufficient for you" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

The Truth: Whatever my circumstance, whatever my situation, His grace is sufficient for me.

Psalm 130:5, "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope."

2 Corinthians 12:7-10, "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

The Truth: God will never place more on me than He will give me grace to bear.

2 Corinthians 11:22-30

Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness -- besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation? If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my infirmity."

Your Choice to Believe

Whether you choose to believe it or not, if you are His child, the Truth is His grace is sufficient for you. His grace is sufficient for every moment, every circumstance, every detail, every need, and every failure of my life.

What do you need God's grace for? Wayward children? Aching body? Unloving husband? No money in the bank? Struggling to raise three kids without a dad in the home? Don't know where next month's rent is coming from? Lost your job? Just moved to a new city and don't know a soul? Desperately lonely? Weighed down with guilt? Chemically dependent? Hormones going haywire?

Fill in the blank. Whatever your story, whatever your situation, right now, His grace is sufficient for you.

This is The Promise

Your loving, heavenly Father will never lead you anywhere that His grace will not sustain you. He will never place more upon you than He will give you grace to bear. When the path before you seems hopelessly long, take heart. Lift up your eyes!

Look ahead to that day when all suffering will be over. And remember that when you stand before Him, all the tears and sorrows of a lifetime will seem dim in comparison with the beauty and glory of His face.

Without a doubt, you will say, "His amazing grace has brought me safely home."

Gaining An Eternal Perspective

Refocusing Your Attention
Pages 224-226

Another lie we may fall for is that our circumstances will never change. If we believe this lie, we will grow discouraged and be tempted to give up when facing seemingly impossible circumstances.

Instead of focusing on the storm around us, the Lord wants us to see His purposes in it, and to embrace Him, trusting that He is conforming our character into something more like His character.

James 1:2-4, The Message, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

38. The lie: My circumstances will never change -- this will go on forever.

The Truth: My suffering may last a long time, but it will not last forever.

Psalm 30:5, "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Romans 8:18, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

In order to walk in freedom, we must exchange our temporal, earthly perspective for a set of heavenly, eternal glasses. Even if nothing changes in our lifetime, the years we experience on this earth are a mere blip on the timeline of eternity.

The Truth: My painful circumstances will not last one moment longer than God knows is necessary to achieve His eternal purposes in and through my life.

Genesis 21:5, "Now Abraham was one hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him."

The Truth: One day, all pain, suffering, and tears will be removed forever.

Isaiah 35:1, "The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them, and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose."

Revelation 21: 1,4, "Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Summarizing

Regardless of how powerful the forces of darkness seem to be here and now, the final chapter has been written -- and God wins! Believing the Truth about what lies ahead will fill us with hope and enable us to persevere between now and then.

Purpose in Suffering

To Be Like Jesus
Pages 221-223

Another way many believers have been deceived is by the idea that they shouldn't have to suffer. After all, as Christians, we should have lots of money, success, and no worries, right? Not necessarily. Jesus never promised an easy life.

On the contrary, the Scriptures teach that it is impossible to become like Jesus -- to be holy -- apart from suffering. Because we don't understand the necessity and value of suffering, we are often more concerned about getting relief from our pain that about discovering the pure fruit God wants to produce in our lives through the pain.

37. The lie: I shouldn't have to suffer.

The Truth: It is impossible to be holy apart from suffering.

You see, God is far more interested in our holiness than in our immediate, temporal happiness. There is a depth of character that cannot be produced in our lives apart from suffering.

Jesus Himself, during His years here on earth, was in some unexplainable way made "perfect though suffering" (See Hebrews 2:10).

The Truth: We have been called to suffer.

Acts 14:22, "strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, 'We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.'"

1 Peter 2:21, "For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps."

The Truth: True joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.

Psalm 23:4, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

Pondering the Truth

If you came to the Lord and asked Him to live in you and be the Lord of your Life, then you are saved. If you somehow got the idea that by doing it, your problems would all go away and you would be relieved of your circumstances, then you have wrongly believed.

The Truth is that Jesus now shares your burdens, and He provides a way for you not to worry about your circumstance. He shows you the wise choice that you should make in order to live peacefully, and even in victory, in the midst of your storm.

1 Peter 5:10, "But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."

Accepting Our Circumstances

How We React to Our Circumstances
Pages 215-221

Chapter 9 applies to every one of us, for we all have "circumstances." Our situations in life are as varied as the people involved. How we react to our circumstances -- whether we believe the lies presented to us or embrace God's Truth -- has a profound effect on everything else.

One lie many women believe is that if only their circumstances were different, then they would be different -- they would act differently or they would be happier. What they are really saying is that they are victims of their circumstances and they are powerless to control what they say and do.

36. The lie: If my circumstances were different, I would be different.

The Truth: My circumstances do not make me what I am; they merely reveal what I am.

Matthew 6:21, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Luke 6:45, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

The Truth: If I am not content with my present circumstances, I am not likely to be happy in any other set of circumstances.

Philippians 4:11-12, "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need."

The Truth: Every circumstance that touches my life has first been filtered through His fingers of love.

Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

The Truth is that we are not victims. We may not be able to control our circumstances; but by God's grace, we can choose how we respond to our circumstances.

Let's Go to the Lord

Heavenly Father, I confess that I often let my circumstances control my attitudes and my responses. I want to be controlled by Your Holy Spirit. Please help me to trust in You, regardless of what is going on around me, and to learn to rejoice and be content in every circumstances. Amen.

Dealing With Depression

A Sensitive Topic
Pages 204-211

We close the chapter with a lie that has to do with how women deal with the increasingly common problem of depression. The widely accepted and promoted view today -- even among Christians -- is that the answer to depression must first be sought in medication or psychotherapy.

The problem with that assumption is that in many cases, the physical and emotional symptoms of depression are the result of issues rooted within the soul or the spirit.

If that is the case, medication or therapy may temporarily treat the symptoms, but they will not bring lasting change.

Regardless of the cause of the depression, we must remember that God has not promised to provide relief from all our problems (here and now) or to make us feel good; however, He has promised to be with us and to give us grace to endure.

35. The lie: The answer to depression must first be sought in medication and/or psychotherapy.

The Truth: Physical and emotional symptoms of depression may be the fruit of issues in the spirit that need to be addressed.

Psalm 32:3-4, "When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah"

The Truth: If my depression did not originate as a physical problem, medication will not permanently relieve my depression.

James 5:13-16, "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much

The Truth: God has given us powerful resources -- His grace, His Spirit, His Word, His promises, the body of Christ -- to minister to our emotional needs.

Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."

A Prayer

Lord, You are my Light in the darkness, my Hope in times of despair, and my Helper in life's most desperate hours. You lift up my head. No matter how great the darkness I am experiencing emotionally, help me to look to You, to wait patiently for You, and to trusts that You are faithful and that Your mercy and grace will sustain me. Amen.

Facing Life's Changing Seasons

Excuses, Excuses!
Pages 200-203

As we trek through the subject of Handling Emotions, we come to the next lie in Chapter 8 of our text.

This lie sometimes gets us off the hook when we're just plain mean. Many women use their changing hormones as an excuse for abusive words, sinful actions, or generally shrewish behavior. "I can't help it," they say "It's my hormones," or "It's that time of the month."

The Truth is that sinful behavior is never justified, regardless of what may be taking place in our bodies. As our Creator, God understands the hormonal changes associated with the changing cycles and seasons of our lives.

His grace is available and sufficient to help us obey and glorify Him as we pass through every season of life.

34. The lie: I can't help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack.

The Truth: By God's grace, I can choose to obey Him regardless of how I feel.

If we accept the lie that we can't control our emotions, we will also believe we can't control how we act when we are feeling emotionally vulnerable or out of control. Not only are we too quick to believe our feelings, we are also far too quick to obey them.

The Truth: There is no excuse for ungodly attitudes, responses, or behavior.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, "Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul [this includes emotions], and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it."

The Truth: My cycles and seasons are under the control of the One who made me, cares for me, and has made provision for each stage of my life.

Psalm 139:14, " I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well."

Knowing Our God

Is it conceivable that our wise, loving Heavenly Father would be unaware of our hormone levels at any stage of maturity or would have failed to make provision for every season of life?

It's important that we understand that He does not offer an easy or trouble-free process of growth.

But He has promised to meet all our needs and to give us grace to respond to the challenges and difficulties associated with every stage of life!

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Realizing That I Can Choose

To Control My Emotions
Pages 197-199

The next lie gives control of our lives to our emotions, saying that we cannot control our emotions. We often use this belief to justify wrong actions or reactions on our part, rationalizing, "I can't help the way I feel."

While it may be true that we cannot necessarily control how we feel about something, we can control how much power we allow our feelings to have over our lives.

We can always choose to obey God, regardless of how or what we are feeling.

33. The lie: I can't control my emotions.

The Truth: I do not have to be controlled by my emotions.

Matthew 5:44, "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."

Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath."

1 Thessalonians 5:18, "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

The Truth: I can choose to fix my mind on the Truth, to take every thought captive to the Truth, and to let God control my emotions.

Psalm 42:11, "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.

Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

2 Corinthians 10:5, "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

The Antidote to Satan's Poison

The Enemy uses this lie to make us believe we have no choice but to be controlled by our emotions, but as you can see from the Word of God, we certainly have a choice and we don't have to let our feelings run our lives.

The Truth is, regardless of what emotions are whirling around inside, by God's grace, we can choose to fix our minds on Him and to "trust and obey." When we do, we will experience His peace and the grace to be faithful, even though our circumstances may not change.

Pray This Prayer

Father, sometimes my emotions do seem overwhelming. Thank You that I do not need to be controlled by my feelings. I pray that You will be Lord over every part of my life, including my emotions. Helps me to set my thoughts and affections on You each moment of the day. Amen.

Handling Emotions

Understand the Difference Between Truth and Feelings
Pages 193-197

The subject of our emotions is one of the most complex and difficult-to-understand aspects of our walk as women. God created emotions, He experiences emotions and understands them. However, His emotions are always perfect, whereas ours have been tainted by sin.

Our emotions can send us all kinds of mixed messages, often deceiving us and leading us away from the Truth. The best weapon against misleading emotions is to pinpoint the lies and learn to counteract them with the Truth.

The first lie tells us that if we feel something, it must be true. If we feel unloved, then we are. If we feel that God has deserted us, then He has. We need to counteract this lie with the truth that we cannot depend on our feelings to give us a true assessment of our situation.

We should always rely on what we know to be true, regardless of how we feel.

32. The Lie: If I feel something, it must be true.

The Truth: My feelings cannot always be trusted. They often have little to do with reality and can easily deceive me into believing things that are not true.

Psalm 119:29-30, "Remove from me the way of lying, and grant me Your law graciously. I have chosen the way of truth; your judgments I have laid before me."

Jeremiah 17:9-10, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings."

The Truth: I must choose to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth.

Psalm 33:4, "For the word of the Lord is right, and all His work is done in truth."

Psalm 51:6, "Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom."

Philippians 4:8-9, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

A Prayer

Lord, Help me to fix my eyes on you. Regardless of what my emotions are telling me, I purpose to trust you. Pour out your grace and give me the power and desire to see Your truth in every circumstance. I need Your help to be faithful to you. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

More Truth About Raising Your Children

Being Sure of Their Salvation
Pages 179-187

We are continuing our study through Chapter seven as we look at lies women believe concerning their children. The next lie is a subtle one. Some parents assume that their children are believers because they prayed to receive Christ at a young age, even though, years later, their children's lives do not demonstrate evidence of genuine conversion.

Without realizing it, such parents may be giving their children a false sense of securiuty and may need to refocus their prayers for their children.

30. The Lie: I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at any early age.

The Truth: Those who do not have a heart for God or any hunger for the things of God and who have a consistent pattern of rejecting the Word and ways of God have no basis for assurance of salvation.

The essence of true salvation is not a matter of profession or performance; rather, it is a transformation!

2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

1 John 3:10, "In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother."

The Truth: Parents who assume their children know the Lord, regardless of their lifestyle, may give their children a false sense of security and may not be praying appropriately for their children.

Hebrews 3:14, "For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end."

Two Extremes

The final lie of the chapter promotes two extremes. On one hand it indicates that parents are not responsible at all for how their children turn out; but on the other hand, it deceives parents into believing that they are 100 percent responsible.

31. The Lie: We are not responsible for how our children turn out.

The Truth: Parents have enormous influence in molding the lives of their children by their example, their teaching, and their leadership.

Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Ephesians 6:4, "And you, fathers [and mothers], do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

The Truth: Each generation is responsible to pass on to the next the heritage of a heart that knows and walks with God.

Psalm 78:5-6, "For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children..."

The Truth: Parents will give account to God for the spiritual condition of the lives He has entrusted to their care.

Proverbs 3:12, "For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights."

Proverbs 13:24, "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

The Truth: Each individual is responsible for his own walk and obedience.

Regardless of what kind of parents he had, each person will give account to God for his own choices.

Deuteronomy 24:16, "Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall children be put to death for their fathers; a person shall be put to death for his own sin."

John 6:39, "This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day."

A Prayer

Lord, it is sobering to realize how much our children pick up from our lives, our values, and our walk with You. Please do whatever is needed to make me the mother than my children need. May my life create in them a desire to know and follow You. Please work in their lives to draw them to You, that our family may reflect Your light to others. Amen.

Discovering God's Promises Concerning Our Children

Believing What God Says
Pages 173-178

As we proceed through Chapter seven, we discover a lie that affects many practical decisions parents make for their children. Many parents believe that their children need to learn at an early age how to get along in the "real world," or they'll never be able to fit in.

The truth is that God never intended for us to know evil by experiencing it for ourselves. It's important that children be protected from personal exposure to evil until they have had time to develop a love for God and a good understanding of right and wrong. Then, they will be able to make good choices based on firm convictions.

28. The Lie: Children need to get exposed to the "real world" so that they can learn to function in it.

The Truth: Our task is not to raise up children who can fit into this world or merely survive it but to bring up children who will be used by God to change our world.

Romans 12:2, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

The Truth: Like young, tender plants, children need to be protected from worldly influences until they are spiritually mature enough to withstand them.

Romans 16:19, "For your obedience has become known to all. Therefore I am glad on your behalf; but I want you to be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil."

The Truth: The fear of the Lord and a vital personal relationship with God are the best means of preparing children to withstand secular culture and to make a difference in our world.

Psalm 92:13-15, "Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing, to declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him."

The next lie is the assumption that all children must go through a rebellious stage. The truth is that if parents expect their children to rebel, then they probably will.

29. The Lie: All children will go through a rebellious stage.

This deception permeates even Christian communities and reveals that parents have placed their expectations upon what the world tells them, rather than on God Who keeps His promises.

The Truth: If parents expect their children to rebel, they increase the likelihood that they will do so.

Genesis 18:17-19, "And the Lord said, 'Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.'"

The Truth: God promised a blessing to parents who keep His covenant and who teach their children to do the same.

Psalm 103:17-18, "But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them."

Acts 2:39, "For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call."

We know that parents cannot force their children to walk with God. They can, however, model godliness and cultivate a climate in the home that creates an appetite for God and is conducive to the spiritual nurture and growth of their children.

As mothers, we must all pray for our children and trust earnestly in the the Lord Who made this promise in Isaiah 54:13:

All your children shall be taught by the LORD, And great shall be the peace of your children.

Raising Children

Children are Always a Blessing
Pages 167-172

God blessed women with the unique ability to bear and nurture children. If you ask almost any mother what is most important in her life, she will tell you, "My children."

Chapter 7 deals with several subtle lies and half-truths about children and parenting that have become widely accepted in our culture. Many Christian women have simply adopted the world's way of thinking without stopping to evaluate how those beliefs line up with God's Word.

The first area where many women have been deceived is the matter of childbearing. The world promotes the idea that children are a burden and that every woman has the right to determine if and when she will have children.

27. The Lie: It's up to us to determine the size of our family.

God's Word teaches, on the other hand, that children are a blessing, a gift from God, and a vital part of His plan for passing the Truth on to the next generation.

The Truth: God is the Creator and Giver of life.

The first two chapters of the Old Testament recount the story of creation in divine detail. It tells us that God Himself is the Creator, Author, and Giver of life. Not surprisingly, as the sworn enemy of God, Satan hates life. He has always sought to destroy it.

He persuaded Adam and Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, knowing that if they did, they would die, as God had promised. When Adam and Eve gave birth to two sons, Satan incited the elder of the two to murder his younger brother.

Satan is the thief in John 10:10, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

The Truth: Anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan's schemes and aids his efforts.

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

The Truth: One of the purposes of marriage is to produce a "godly offspring."

Psalm 127:3-4, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.

The Truth: Children are to be received as a blessing from God.

Matthew 18:5, "Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me [Jesus]."

A Prayer

Lord thank You for the gift of children. Help me to welcome them even as You do. Show me how to fulfill my calling as a woman - to be a bearer and nurturer of life, whether that means having physical children of my own, or "mothering" spiritual children You entrust to me. Amen.

The Greatest Truths About Marriage

Exposing the Lie So That Our Marriages May Be Healed
Pages 156-165

Finally, the sixth lie in Chapter 6 has become so ingrained in our society that divorce has become almost "normal," and people who stay married are considered "abnormal." With few exceptions, most people today believe that it is better to divorce than to stay in a "bad marriage."

The Word of God points us to the Truth about God's purposes and design for marriage, which can enable us to patiently work through difficulties rather than running from them through divorce, not matter how desirable that option may seem.

26. The Lie: Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage.

This is a good place in our studies to be reminded of some stirring Truths about the Enemy of our souls. He is Satan, the same serpent that manipulated, deceived, and confused Eve so many centuries ago in the Garden.

He is the Father of Lies, and will do whatever it takes to cause shipwreck to your faith. He hates your body, hates your marriage, and hates your sons and daughters.

No sooner does a couple say, "I do," than the Serpent rears his ugly head and sets out to destroy that marriage. He knows every divorce is an attack on the character of God and on the earthly picture of divine redemption.

The Truth: Marriage is a lifelong covenant that is intended to reflect the covenant-keeping heart of God. As He is faithful to His covenant, so we must be faithful to keep our marriage covenant.

Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

The Truth: There is no marriage God cannot heal. There is no person God cannot change.

Mark 11:25, "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."

The Truth: God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ.

Ephesians 5:24-27, "Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish."

The Truth: God's grace is sufficient to enable you to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.

2 Corinthians 12:9, "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

The Power of Truth

The Enemy has made a mess and a mockery out of marriage. His lies have resulted in countless fractured lives and homes. Only the Truth has power to redeem, restore, and renew!

Choosing to Believe the Truth About Marriage

...Because the Lies Continue to Inundate!
Pages 151-156

Let's be very clear that what took place in the Garden of Eden so many centuries ago was an attack on marriage.

Marriage is God's design, and His purpose for it is to reflect His glory. It is not coincidence that Satan launched his devious plan to destroy marriage by approaching a married woman. He lied to her about God and about His character. He lied about God's Word, and about sin and its consequences.

The woman believed and acted on his lie and then turned to her husband and drew him into sin with her.

25. The Lie: If my husband is passive, I've got to take the initiative, or nothing will get done.

The Truth: God created the man to be an initiator and the woman to be a responder.

Genesis 3:6, "So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate."

As we can see from this verse, the serpent's strategy was to undermine God's authority structure by going directly to the woman.

The Truth: If a woman takes the reins rather than waiting on God to move her husband, her husband is likely to be less motivated to fulfill his God-given responsibility.

Genesis, 16:1-2, "Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai."

God had a plan for Sarah, but He wanted her to wait for His perfect timing. Instead, Sarah took the situation into her own hands and resorted to a common practice of the day. It was a way in which a barren woman could get a child through one of her own servants.

This method achieved immediate results, but it was not God's plan. The child born to her maid, Ishmael, became a lifelong source of conflict and grief.

Thirteen years later, when Sarah was ninety years old, God super-naturally intervened to give Abraham and his wife a child of their own. Their child, Isaac, brought blessing to his parents lives, and blessing to all generations.

What can free us from the drive to control the men in our lives?

We must learn to WAIT on the Lord; in His time, and in His way, He will act on behalf of those who wait for Him!

Psalm 27:14, "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!"

The Truth About Submission

Living Under God's Protection
Pages 146-151

As we continue studying through Chapter six, we come upon a lie that is multifaceted and highly prevalent in our culture. It introduces the "s" word - submission. Our society has pummeled this word to death, and even some within the church have attempted to sidestep it.

However, Biblical submission of the wife to her husband is simply the framework that makes a marriage operate in a healthy manner. When women are willing to let their husband lead, they are practicing and demonstrating trust in God's authority over their husband.

24. The Lie: If I submit to my husband, I'll be miserable.

The Truth: Submission places me under the covering and protection of God, who controls the "heart of the king."

Proverbs 21:1, "The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes."

The Truth: When I step out from under authority, I become vulnerable to the attacks of the Enemy.

Romans 13:1-2, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves."

The Truth: My willingness to place myself under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how big I believe God really is.

Ephesians 5:21-22, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

The Truth: Reverent submission is a wife's greatest means of influencing a husband who is not walking with God.

1 Peter 2:3-6, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."

It's the Liberating Principle!

Satan has done a masterful job of convincing women that submission is a narrow, negative, and confining concept. He knows that if we could see the Truth about Biblical submission - one of the most liberating principles in all of God's Word - we would joyfully embrace it.

Created to Serve

Our Design and Our Example
Pages 142-145

It's time to take a look at another lie we are tempted to believe about marriage. This lie suggests that we women have a right to expect our husbands to serve us.

23. The Lie: My husband is supposed to serve me.

The Truth: God made the woman to be a helper to man.

Genesis 2:18-22, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into woman, and He brought her to the man."

The Following is Truth! But let someone else point it out to your husband...

While it's true that woman was created to be man's "helper," it does not mean that men are not to serve their wives and children. If men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, there must be the willingness to lay down their lives and become servants, even as Christ did for His bride.

Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."

The Truth: If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed.

I Corinthians 13:4, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up."

The Truth: We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.

John 13:5, "After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded."

The Fundamental Issue

Do you have a willingness to trust God and to place yourself under His authority?

Lies Women Believe About Marriage

And the Truth That Sets Them Free

Pages 135-142

I know you would agree that nowhere is it more challenging to walk in the Truth than inside the four walls of our own homes. Chapter six deals with the topic of marriage. Both married women and unmarried women struggle with the first lie in tis chapter, which equates having a husband to being happy in life.

Often, single women think that they must get married before they can be happy, and married women think that their husband's purpose in life is to make them happy. Both are lies.

Join me as we delve into the Scriptures, because it is only there that we can find the Truth of the matter!

21. The Lie: I have to have a husband to be happy.

The Truth: Happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage.

James 1:16-17, "Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."

The Truth: There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God.

Psalm 62:5, "My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him."

The Truth: Those who wait on the Lord always get His best. Those who insist on getting what they want often end up with heartache.

Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

What is the Truth About Marriage?

The truth is that marriage is good and right, that it is God's plan for most people, and that there can (and ought to) be great joy and blessing in the context of a God-centered marriage. Satan twists the Truth about marriage by suggesting to women that the purpose of marriage is personal happiness and fulfillment.

Again, the Truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy. The ultimate purpose of marriage is to glorify God.

22. The Lie: It is my responsibility to change my mate.

The Truth: A godly life and prayer are a wife's two greatest means of influencing her husband's life.

James 5:16, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous [woman] avails much."

The Truth: It is far more effective for a woman to appeal to the Lord to change her husband than to try to exert pressure on him directly.

Proverbs 17:1, "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife."

Proverbs 19:13b, "The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."

We as Christians wives are inclined to fix something that is broken. In other words, if something is wrong and we perceive that it is our husbands, then we want to fix him. But thinking that it is our responsibility to change him invariably leads to frustration and conflict.

So, What Do I Do?

Instead, we must realize and we have two powerful "weapons" available to each one of us that are far more effective than nagging, whining, or preaching.

The first weapon is a godly life, which God often uses in a man's life to create conviction and spiritual hunger (see 1 Peter 3:1-4)

The second weapon is prayer. When a wife consistently points out the things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant.

However, when she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a high power to act in her husband's life - and it's a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

Discover Your Value as a Wife and Mother

Pages 124-131

The next lie addresses a conflict between our culture and God's Word. This lie is about the value of being a wife and mother. For the last few decades, our society has been trying to tell women that they can't possibly be fulfilled by staying at home and raising their children.

Through countless mediums, the world shouts to women that we must be out in the workforce in order to be truly happy and to reach our fullest potential.

20. The Lie: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.

The Truth: In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.

1 Timothy 5:9-10, "Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers.."

The Truth: God uniquely designed the woman to be a bearer and nurturer of life.

Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Genesis 3:20, "And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living."

The Truth: There is not greater measure of a woman's worth or success than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home.

Titus 2:4-5 (Amplified Bible)

"So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).

The Truth: God's plan is that a woman's primary attention and efforts should be devoted to ministering to the needs of her husband and children.

Genesis 2:18, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

A Prayer

Lord, thank You for the distinctive calling You have given to women in their homes. I want to fulfill the role for which you created me. If there are changes I need to make in my priorities, please show me what I need to do and give me the courage to do it.

Help me to make our home a safe harbor for my family. Come into our home and make it a place where You are known and loved and revealed. Amen.

Prioritizing Our Lives

Pages 115-124

As we begin chapter five, we will consider three lies that many women believe about their priorities. As always, we'll find the corresponding truths in God's Word.

As we search through the Scriptures, think of it as a treasure hunt. If we're diligent enough, we're sure to "strike gold," the kind that we can apply to our lives, and the kind that will last forever!

18. The Lie: I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do.

This lie has to do with our many activities and involvements. Look around at the women you know - your friends, your sister, coworkers - or take a quick glance at your own schedule. In spite of countless time-saving devices and conveniences, most modern women (including Christian women) are living breathless, harried, frazzled lives and are believing that there just aren't enough hours in the day.

The Truth: There is time in every day to do everything thing that God wants me to do.

Ephesians 2:10, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

The next lie women many times believe concerns the priority we place on our personal relationship with Christ. Perhaps we think we are just too busy to fit a quiet time into our schedule. Maybe "quiet" has become a long-lost word in the hustle of our lives!

19. The Lie: I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.

Sometimes we just don't know what or how to go about this devotional time, and so we skip it. We think we can keep going. We think we can do it on our own if we just stay organized enough.

The Truth: It is impossible for me to be the woman God wants me to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the Word and prayer.

Ladies, I need God's direction in my life. Every single time, without fail, that I go off on my own in my heart, or I make a decision without consulting Him and His Word, someone gets hurt. It's a blessing when I'm the only one affected, but that's usually not the case. Most of the time my straying affects the ones closest to me.

Are You Ready to Make a Commitment?

The only way for you and me to hear God is to remain in His Word. If we do this, His direction will be clear. This is why our first priority must be our relationship with the Lord.

We cultivate the relationship by making sure we have a quiet time every day -- even if it's "Just 5" minutes!

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Psalms 5:30, "My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to you, and I will look up."