Created to Serve

Our Design and Our Example
Pages 142-145

It's time to take a look at another lie we are tempted to believe about marriage. This lie suggests that we women have a right to expect our husbands to serve us.

23. The Lie: My husband is supposed to serve me.

The Truth: God made the woman to be a helper to man.

Genesis 2:18-22, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into woman, and He brought her to the man."

The Following is Truth! But let someone else point it out to your husband...

While it's true that woman was created to be man's "helper," it does not mean that men are not to serve their wives and children. If men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, there must be the willingness to lay down their lives and become servants, even as Christ did for His bride.

Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."

The Truth: If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed.

I Corinthians 13:4, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up."

The Truth: We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.

John 13:5, "After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded."

The Fundamental Issue

Do you have a willingness to trust God and to place yourself under His authority?

Lies Women Believe About Marriage

And the Truth That Sets Them Free

Pages 135-142

I know you would agree that nowhere is it more challenging to walk in the Truth than inside the four walls of our own homes. Chapter six deals with the topic of marriage. Both married women and unmarried women struggle with the first lie in tis chapter, which equates having a husband to being happy in life.

Often, single women think that they must get married before they can be happy, and married women think that their husband's purpose in life is to make them happy. Both are lies.

Join me as we delve into the Scriptures, because it is only there that we can find the Truth of the matter!

21. The Lie: I have to have a husband to be happy.

The Truth: Happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage.

James 1:16-17, "Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."

The Truth: There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God.

Psalm 62:5, "My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him."

The Truth: Those who wait on the Lord always get His best. Those who insist on getting what they want often end up with heartache.

Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

What is the Truth About Marriage?

The truth is that marriage is good and right, that it is God's plan for most people, and that there can (and ought to) be great joy and blessing in the context of a God-centered marriage. Satan twists the Truth about marriage by suggesting to women that the purpose of marriage is personal happiness and fulfillment.

Again, the Truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy. The ultimate purpose of marriage is to glorify God.

22. The Lie: It is my responsibility to change my mate.

The Truth: A godly life and prayer are a wife's two greatest means of influencing her husband's life.

James 5:16, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous [woman] avails much."

The Truth: It is far more effective for a woman to appeal to the Lord to change her husband than to try to exert pressure on him directly.

Proverbs 17:1, "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife."

Proverbs 19:13b, "The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."

We as Christians wives are inclined to fix something that is broken. In other words, if something is wrong and we perceive that it is our husbands, then we want to fix him. But thinking that it is our responsibility to change him invariably leads to frustration and conflict.

So, What Do I Do?

Instead, we must realize and we have two powerful "weapons" available to each one of us that are far more effective than nagging, whining, or preaching.

The first weapon is a godly life, which God often uses in a man's life to create conviction and spiritual hunger (see 1 Peter 3:1-4)

The second weapon is prayer. When a wife consistently points out the things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant.

However, when she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a high power to act in her husband's life - and it's a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

Discover Your Value as a Wife and Mother

Pages 124-131

The next lie addresses a conflict between our culture and God's Word. This lie is about the value of being a wife and mother. For the last few decades, our society has been trying to tell women that they can't possibly be fulfilled by staying at home and raising their children.

Through countless mediums, the world shouts to women that we must be out in the workforce in order to be truly happy and to reach our fullest potential.

20. The Lie: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.

The Truth: In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.

1 Timothy 5:9-10, "Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers.."

The Truth: God uniquely designed the woman to be a bearer and nurturer of life.

Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Genesis 3:20, "And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living."

The Truth: There is not greater measure of a woman's worth or success than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home.

Titus 2:4-5 (Amplified Bible)

"So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).

The Truth: God's plan is that a woman's primary attention and efforts should be devoted to ministering to the needs of her husband and children.

Genesis 2:18, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

A Prayer

Lord, thank You for the distinctive calling You have given to women in their homes. I want to fulfill the role for which you created me. If there are changes I need to make in my priorities, please show me what I need to do and give me the courage to do it.

Help me to make our home a safe harbor for my family. Come into our home and make it a place where You are known and loved and revealed. Amen.

Prioritizing Our Lives

Pages 115-124

As we begin chapter five, we will consider three lies that many women believe about their priorities. As always, we'll find the corresponding truths in God's Word.

As we search through the Scriptures, think of it as a treasure hunt. If we're diligent enough, we're sure to "strike gold," the kind that we can apply to our lives, and the kind that will last forever!

18. The Lie: I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do.

This lie has to do with our many activities and involvements. Look around at the women you know - your friends, your sister, coworkers - or take a quick glance at your own schedule. In spite of countless time-saving devices and conveniences, most modern women (including Christian women) are living breathless, harried, frazzled lives and are believing that there just aren't enough hours in the day.

The Truth: There is time in every day to do everything thing that God wants me to do.

Ephesians 2:10, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

The next lie women many times believe concerns the priority we place on our personal relationship with Christ. Perhaps we think we are just too busy to fit a quiet time into our schedule. Maybe "quiet" has become a long-lost word in the hustle of our lives!

19. The Lie: I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.

Sometimes we just don't know what or how to go about this devotional time, and so we skip it. We think we can keep going. We think we can do it on our own if we just stay organized enough.

The Truth: It is impossible for me to be the woman God wants me to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the Word and prayer.

Ladies, I need God's direction in my life. Every single time, without fail, that I go off on my own in my heart, or I make a decision without consulting Him and His Word, someone gets hurt. It's a blessing when I'm the only one affected, but that's usually not the case. Most of the time my straying affects the ones closest to me.

Are You Ready to Make a Commitment?

The only way for you and me to hear God is to remain in His Word. If we do this, His direction will be clear. This is why our first priority must be our relationship with the Lord.

We cultivate the relationship by making sure we have a quiet time every day -- even if it's "Just 5" minutes!

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Psalms 5:30, "My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to you, and I will look up."

More Lies Women Believe About Sin

Chapter 4

Pages 106-111

We Can Experience Consistent Victory...

...But Not On Our Own!

The last lie of chapter four deals with our attitude toward sin. As believers, we have been given the Holy Spirit and a brand-new life. Even though we will struggle with our sinful flesh until the day we die, we must recognize that we are no longer in bondage to sin.

We can experience victory over sin, because of what Christ has done for us!

17. The Lie: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.

The Truth: I am a child of God, I don't have to sin.

Romans 6:14, "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."

The Truth: I am not a slave to sin. Through Christ, I have been set free from sin.

John 8:31-32, "Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 'If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'"

Any person who is a true child of God has been given a new nature - a nature that desires to obey God. Deep down, every true believer wants to live a life that is pleasing to God.

However, according to God's Word, even after we are born again, our natural inclinations continue to wage war against the Spirit of Christ living within us.

The Spirit says: Forgive.

The flesh says: Hold a grudge.

The Spirit says: Be temperate (self-controlled).

The flesh says: Eat whatever you want, whenever you feel like it.

The Spirit says: Give that money to someone in need.

The flesh says: Spend that money on yourself.

The Spirit says: Spend some time in the Word and prayer.

The flesh says: You've had a long day; chill out on front of the TV for the evening.

The Spirit says: Hold your tongue. What you are about to say is not kind or necessary.

The flesh says: Tell it like it is!

Final Thoughts About Sin

Ladies, it's healthy for us to reflect once in a while. Today, I'd like you to reflect on these final two important facts about sin:

Every time we choose to give in to the flesh, rather than yielding to the Spirit of God, we allow sin to gain mastery over us.

The following is just as true and gives us immense hope:

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He [God] is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Accepting The Responsibility

Let's Walk in the Light

Pages 103-105

The next sin that we'll be studying spreads the responsibility for sin on everyone else's shoulders but our own. We justify our sins all the time, blaming them on unhappy marriages, character traits we inherited from our parents, or results of our childhood experiences.

16. The Lie: I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.

The Truth: God does not hold me accountable for the actions of others.

The Truth: I am responsible for my own choices.

It's important to bring this particular lie into the light. When we do, we learn that it is our action in opposition to the lie that brings freedom. The action is to confess with our mouths the sin, to ask God to forgive us, and to ask the appropriate person to forgive us.

The truth is that only by accepting full responsibility for our actions and attitudes can we ever be fully free from guilt. A guilt-free life is the result of walking in the light.

From Colossians 3

You were raised with Christ, so seek after the things that interest Him! Think about pleasing Him because you now live in His Kingdom and He is your boss. Before you were a Christian, your thoughts would go to evil subjects, and you would think the worst of people. Now that you belong to Christ, you are able to make a choice to surrender your "rights" and live life the right way.

If you let the Word of God saturate your soul, you will find that your decision-making is based upon wisdom! You will soon discover that you possess a heart of peace, not conflict; and that your life overflows with thanksgiving, not selfishness.

Understanding Sin

Chapter 4

Pages 91-105

What is the Truth About Sin?

It's time to address lies women believe about sin. Many people would like to get rid of the notion of "sin" altogether. They believe that there is no absolute standard of right and wrong. They believe that truth is a personal issue, depending on what's best for you. They believe that tolerance is the key for unity in our world.

Those are nice thoughts, unfortunately, they're not true. A perfect God exists, and evil exists as well.

13. The Lie: I can sin and get away with it.

This one seems so true to us, because it appears to happen all the time. In fact, we see people who actually seem to get rewards for their sin.

The Truth: The choices I make today will have consequences; I will reap what I sow.

Galatians 6:7-8, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

The truth is that sinners will ultimately receive the consequences of their sin. The pleasures that sin gives will eventually turn sour. We must understand that there is no exception to this principle.

14. The Lie: My sin isn't really that bad.

15. The Lie: God can't forgive what I have done.

The above two lies represent two ends of a spectrum. One lie is that our sin is no big deal; the other is that our sin is such a big deal that God Himself cannot even forgive it. Both are lies, because according to God, all sin is sin, not matter how much we try to rationalize it.

The Truth: Every act of sin is an act of rebellion against God.

The Truth: The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover any and every sin I have committed.

1 John 1:5-10 (The Message)

"This, in essence, is the message we heard from Christ and are passing on to you: God is light, pure light; there's not a trace of darkness in him.

If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we're obviously lying through our teeth - we're not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin.

If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins - make a clean break of them - he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God - make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God."

A Note

Ladies, I pray that all of us will take a good look at what the Bible says about sin. As we seek God's truth in the matter, He will bring light and balance to our lives. Have a great week!

Love, Karen